Defib Video (MV)

Growing up in my mid 30's feeling like an adolescent
Showing up in no big hurry, know I'm looking iridescent
Throwing up that cooked spaghetti sticking to the wall no stressing
No stressing, no stressing, listen
Beat bad thoughts down down into submission
32 years spent cooking cooking in my kitchen
But it's time to serve my meal I need commission
I'm tired of missing, just f*cking wishing
See it's hard to shut up and just f*ckin listen
Slow down quit writing stories with a brisk pen
Life's what you make it don't succumb to superstition
I woke up just to check on my condition
Kissing ass used to be my mode of existing
I never put up any form of resistance
There I was none the richer just my sixpence
Now what's the difference what's the difference

When I'm closest to me I'm warmest now
When he freaks out then I just shut down
I know you're there stuck in my heart
You're me but I haven't met you to start
When I'm closest to me I'm warmest now
When he freaks out then I just shut down
I know you're there stuck in my heart
You're me but I haven't met me to start

Keeping those close to me right where they're supposed to be
But at the same time pushing them away from me
See if I reject them first then they'll never leave
The key to it all is to keep my heart off of my sleeve
Keep it deep down in my chest vigilance means I don't rest
My whole life I had to be the best acing every test
Facing myself full court press mistaking myself with perfect
Letting go of all of that meant failure had to protect my neck
Contorted face always watching what I say
People please no pass no play
No faux no fake no more no way
No games just me no cone no shame
Holy I'm feeling so divine reclaiming my time
Pull the past to the present, present to the future, no lines
Take the old me outback no rules just right, no rules just right

When Im closest to me I'm warmest now
When he freaks out then I just shut down
I know you're there stuck in my heart
You're me but I haven't met you to start
When Im closest to me I'm warmest now
When he freaks out then I just shut down
I know you're there stuck in my heart
You're me but I haven't met me to start