NiccoFeem - I'm Home (feat. T.Y Beats) Lyrics

After I got back home I had to find a job
Unemployment money wasn't about to get me far
My father ran a restaurant and he said I could work
I figured bartending was the best for me to earn

The environment was different I was a single man
Ready to make some money learn everything that I can
My coworker was brilliant she made the most money
She taught me how to take advantage of looks it was funny

It was here that I found out I actually had some power
I started flirting with women so I could make a dollar
My intentions were innocent but I got a taste
Of whats its like to play the field I could never relate

I was so used to ignoring the attention I got
Everyday was a challenge can I get what I want
The old me wanted love Id fought so hard for it
I left that part me on highland ave couldn't afford it

I drove for 13 hours with my life in the trunk
I had no money to pay my rent for a single month
So here I am, broken and pouring liquor shots
Ready to have sex with any girl who opens the box

Most of time I would swipe on tinder it didn't work
So many women wit low self esteem no self worth
I found myself going back and forth with this bad habit
When I got lonely id open up the app for distraction

After a while the money I made had came in handy
Id often work for 16 hours no would could understand me
Bartending taught me how hide my emotions well
No one knew the fight inside me not even myself

I started drinking again mostly I'm in control
Somehow this night life was feeding a part of my soul
As I worked on my album Id gotten frustrated
An unknown artist desperately trying to make it

Tragic hero took way too long for me to release
Studio sessions canceled for artists bigger than me
But I didn't give it up nothing was more important
Id often yell at home by myself this isn't working

Friends are asking questions about it what can I say
I do the best I can almost every single day
With so much hate and sadness inside was feeling hopeless
Put all my energy in those songs it kept me focused

I took a couple breaks from the process I couldn't take it
Flashbacks of Atlanta I'm crying bout time wasted
I blamed myself for everything life had just gone wrong
And to this day I struggle with all of those bad thoughts

I remember when she called asked me how was I doing
I lied and told her everything's fine how about you
An awkward silence fell on the phone she didn't speak
An ugly feeling fell on my heart I began to think

Something told me hang up this persons isn't your friend
Don't you ever think about talking to her again
So I hung up fast I made myself a deal
Forget that this ever happened it wasn't even real

I blocked it out of mind and kept on living life
Obsessive over this secret prayed about it at night
Told god I was sick of the burden tell me the truth
Show me why this had to happen Im talking to you

The worst was yet to come god never replied
It was random, woke up on a Tuesday I cried
My body started to shake, I couldn't even breath
My chest had got so tight, struggling for relief

It all hit me like a ton of bricks at the same
Time
I caved in, started writing so id survive
11 hours later my wrist started to cramp
The center of my despair was there written and stamped

I told myself id let everybody know what had happened
Take the risk that Id look foolish its embarrassing
The biggest problem isn't what had happened to me
I just cant come to grips with the man that I see