I don't wanna go to the parks with you
You think you know what you're doin'
I don't wanna end up on the losing end
Of the group you're always screwin'
Because you just go out without a f*ckin' plan
It's infuriatin'
And you never even knew about the Welcome Show
'Cos you always have to sleep in
Because you're waiting in line just to get to Splash Mountain
You should've gone before lunch
And while you're waiting in line, I'll be down at the Fountain of Nations
Cos I got a hunch
That Epcot will be slower today because it doesn't have EMH
But you're always waiting in line just to get to Splash Mountain and never ask for the front
I think you should stop tellin' everyone
That you can show them around
70% of your guests will leave havin' a nervous breakdown
Well, your advice is worse than the bus drivers
"Look out for that 5th gate!"
And you never think you need to make an ADR
So you end up eating funnel cake
Because you're waiting in line just to get to Splash Mountain
You should've gone before lunch
And while you're waiting in line, I'll be down at the Fountain of Nations
Cos I got a hunch
That Epcot will be slower today because it doesn't have EMH
But you're always waiting in line just to get to Splash Mountain and never ask for the front
I know it may sound kind of drastic
But you're the one who wasted fastpass on Fantasmic!
You wasted money on the dining plan
At 1PM, in line for Peter Pan
So stay away - I would rather go alone!
I don't want to spend the whole day with you
You're rude to everyone
Cutting lines, ignoring signs, Instagramming
Is that what you call fun?
Illuminations starts and you cause disturbances
No one wants to hear you woo
Then you spend two hours bitchin' at guest services
Complaining someone bumped into you
And now you're waiting in line just to get to Space Mountain
You should have gone at rope drop
But while I was eating my lunch next to the Main Street fountain
You just arrived at the bus stop
You're gonna have one helluva day
Because this morning was EMH
And you're still waiting in line just to get to space mountain
While I'm at Disney Springs to shop
That's right, you're waiting in line just to get to Splash Mountain