New Fangled Trolleys - Genesis in Its Original State Lyrics

It's midnight in the Garden of Eden
Where everyone's related and that's just fine
Adam's got a small dick and Eve is not quite shaven
But they know what to do after a glass of wine
Well, it's time to show God the wonders of his design

Cause any human knows
That when you're not wearing clothes then nothing's stopping you
Adam didn't know which hole
Eve just shrugged and then she told him that either one would do
The first guy ever to score, he was a little premature
He came inside and left her with an ache
So then when he went to lay down, Eve just up and looked around
And in seconds she f*cked that snake
And that was the first mistake

It's noon now in the Garden of Eden
Cain is born and Adam asks God, "What the f*ck?!"
God explains where babies come from and tells him it's not his child
He remembered Eve hangin' with some snake
Now he's gonna that schmuck
God smiled now 'cos entertainment's struck!

So Adam went a-stalking
He saw the lovers talking, eating apples in the sun
He screamed, "Eve you Goddamn slut!!!"
The snake bit him on the nuts and he said "Don't f*ck with Satan!"
The snake left Eve pregnant again, leaving poor Adam poisoned
She apologized and sighed
He never got to see the kid, 'cause Eve did what God forbid
He called her a bitch and died
The single mother sat and cried

As the kids just grew and grew, Eve had taught them how to screw
She got double-teamed each night
Now the three were sex obsessed
She coined "incest is the best," because it just felt so right
Able had the biggest cock
So Cain grabbed the biggest rock and skinned him to the bone
Now Cain's life was pretty calm
That his sex offender mom was his and his alone
And that's why we're dysfunction prone
And religious folks now atone