You were dining at The Starboard Lounge
I meant to come to you when I remembered a tape
It was "The Muppet Movie" but its burnt-orange cover made me queasy
Decaying green felt on a riverbank
The verdigris waves that struck and consumed you over time
A Burt Bacharach love theme that was distant and distorted
I heard something in it that you couldn't, and that scared me
But those details no longer matter
You're different now
You're wetter than you used to be
I recall those men in their board shorts all bleeding away to Boy Heaven
Their monk tonsures
Their rat tails so wet with sea foam
Oh, how they screamed in Daniel David's hot tub for a refill on their sodas
Their calloused feet scraping against the wet cardboard
And I should have said something
I meant to come to you
I hadn't felt your hot breath since Daniel David's on the Coast
I should have peeled back those tentacles and given what skin you had left a kiss
But I got in my car and I woke up sweating
That night their blood ran thick through several tight pairs of selvedge denim
Mmmmm, I'm in Girl Heaven
Estherville's Ungulates have a new CD, it's called "The Morning News"
Umm, it starts off with the rousing "Estherville Chant"
(Mmm)
Then it moves on to the political "Who's Walking My Dog (Who's Walking Who?)"
Uh, from there we've got the popular "Ungulate Theme"
(Yes)
And then it's "Hours and Days" with the funky Corr Perringbone remix
Um, then we have a reprisal of the popular "Estherville Chant"
(Mmm, yes)
And then the Love Suite begins with "Love, Love, Love, Love, Love (5x Love)"
It moves on to the romantic "Phone Operator Lover"
And the suite concludes with, uh, my favorite track, "Starless Spanish Holiday"
(Mmm)
And then the rousing "Ungulate Stomp" is number 9
And on the US editions, the bonus track "She's a Shiny Lady (Betwixt the Trees)"
Recorded live at the Queen's Jubilee
So that's "The Morning News"
It's an Alderman's Choice Pick
Uh, there will be no returns if your CD arrives wet
(I am your new customer)