I wrote a letter to Natalie Portman
Asking her if she would go out with me
But all I ever got in reply was a letter from her agent
She said Miss Portman is well
And she told me that Miss Portman is going to Yale
And then the letter took a turn and she asked me what I'm doing for the weekend
I got a date with Natalie's agent
I'm sittin' on the couch in total amazement
So maybe she's not Natalie Portman but I'm sure that she'll do
I got a date with Natalie's agent
I'm totally thrilled and I just can't contain it
I may not be with Natalie Portman but her agent'll do
I picked her up at her place in the city
Lookin' around, she was lookin' so pretty
And totally surprised to be going out with someone like me
We took a walk in the park
And as the sun went down I think I felt the start of spark
And as the moon and stars were rising I held her and I gave her a kiss
I got a date with Natalie's agent
I'm sittin' on the couch in total amazement
So maybe she's not Natalie Portman but I'm sure that she'll do
I got a date with Natalie's agent
I'm totally thrilled and I just can't contain it
I may not be with Natalie Portman but her agent'll do
I dropped her off and went home for a shower
And later that day, I dropped by with a flower
Her face was Kwanzaa, Christmas, and Hanukkah, all rolled into one
I took her down to the lake
And I told her that I think I might've made a mistake
Cuz though the credits told me Natalie Portman, well my heart told me her
I got a date with Natalie's agent
I'm sittin' on the couch in total amazement
So maybe she's not Natalie Portman but I'm sure that she'll do
I got a date with Natalie's agent
I'm totally thrilled and I just can't contain it
I may not be with Natalie Portman but I really don't care