I played prodigal for the story
I came home and was proud of it
I played cops and robbers
And made sure that my side would always win
Not for nothing, but my cards
Were always face up on the draw
Oh god I wish you could have seen it
When I sang that awful song
"So if I die, let me die
With a shotgun by my side
So everybody knows how hard I fought to live
And let them write my name backwards
On a banner over the square
I want every last one to look at it"
Then I would call myself out bleeding
"Look at the devil that I've slain"
Nobody left to paint my picture
So I guess I've lost my game
And I would make sure you could see me
I would shiver while I prayed
A little hair of the dog while I'm waiting for God
Just to dig the tomb I crave
So if I die, let me die
Just go ahead and take my spine
And I will blather on about how hard this is
Let them tear my name to pieces
I'm not worth what it's printed on
If the best I can do is throw a fit
So I suppose I could have been bitter
At having lost the taste of joy
And I could have dragged you down with me
Like a selfish little boy
But if my story's what's important
I think a better one would be
Me ending all this self indulgence
Putting my clothes on and walking free
So if I die, let me die
With my friends all at my side
No more dim-lit mirrors, no an end that I can see
We will not drink to numb the soreness
But to toast that we're alive
And we will all forget what we pretend to be