Sleepwalking Video (MV)

I am so anxious when I look at this canvas
It's blank and I have nothing to paint it with
Sleep deprived try to hide tired eyes
Mom and Dad worry, but I tell them I'm doing fine
They say I look depressed, I didn't know it was that clear to recognize
I'm struggling with demons that I just cannot exercise

I'm by myself and continue to scrutinize
All by myself I guess I chose to ostracize
Myself from others, might need to apologize
I try to organize, I try to improvise
I try to optimize, but through the best of me
I still manage to jeopardize
Tear myself down with the ways that I criticize
Tear my walls down, and tear down this disguise
Do my best to open up and empathize

Ironic that I'm having trouble sleeping
When I go through life day dreaming

Ironic that I'm having trouble sleeping
When I go through life day dreaming
Scared and angry, you can't hear me screaming
Ironic that I'm having trouble sleeping
When I go through life day dreaming
Scared and angry, you can't hear me screaming
I think I'm sleepwalking

It's kind of easy to get caught in the same old commotion
Repeating the same routine
Slowly losing your devotion
Put my pride aside, try my best to acknowledge
That I've been digging through the trash
And searching for cash
But those things don't mean much when we return to Ash
Distracting myself with the things that keep my eyes off you
Of those pretty dirty things that kind of abstract my view

This is my home, it's falling apart
And it looks a lot more like a whole
But it's my whole; I hate it
But it's all that I know
I want to wake up; take off the make up
Leave the cologne that covers up the stench that I hide
Is it depression if the shoe fits
Misconstrued perspective, or a self aware misfit?

Who are you to look at me and judge me?
If it were someone else, it would be beautiful and artistic
But you look at me like I'm broken and sadistic

Ironic that I'm having trouble sleeping
When I go through life day dreaming

Ironic that I'm having trouble sleeping
When I go through life day dreaming
Scared and angry, you can't hear me screaming
Ironic that I'm having trouble sleeping
When I go through life day dreaming
Scared and angry, you can't hear me screaming
I think I'm sleepwalking