Matt Blaustein - 84 Days Lyrics

It took 84 days from beginning to ending
It took 84 days for cancer to run its course
And this is not a time to remember the bad things
It's a time to remember not a time for remorse

When he told me last year at the end of October
I remember the day, it was the 28th
I couldn't imagine how soon things would be over
I remember waking up with a solemn face

And here I stand, a naive man
Mind congregated, a line in the sand
And here I stand, without a plan
Without a plan

It took me 84 days just to accept things
It took 84 days, those 84 were my worst
And I'd cry myself to sleep over all of the bad things
Almost every single day felt like life was cursed

He reassured me that everything would be okay
That they caught it early and he would be fine
But then things got worse and it was clear to me then
I can't wipe so many things clean from my mind

And as I sat, next to my dad
Lying unconscious in a hospice bed
I played a song, I held his hand
What had become of this man

He never got to know where I was going to college
He only knew I got deferred from my dream school
Exactly two months later I got my acceptance letter
I wasn't even happy, I just felt like a fool

I spend every single day making sure I remember
The color of his eyes and the shape of his face
And when I think back to January
I'd visit the hospital, I hated that place

I just wanted to talk, to understand,
So many questions inside my head,
And now he's gone, it's been so long
I'm holding back tears while I'm writing this song

There are several days, I'll sit up in bed
I'll wake up at night, eyes wide with cold sweats
My mind flashes back, tears in my eyes
It happens sometimes when these feelings rise

At least I got to whisper, in his ear
Before the 20th of January appeared
That I loved him, oh so dear
It's hard to realize it's been almost a year.

But in the end, I miss that man
I hope he'd be proud of who I am
I love you dad, you're in my heart
No matter what, even though we're apart