I felt jealous today.
Like it's eating me up for no reason.
She told me she went out with my friends and I felt so anxious that whole night.
I think I'm insecure about the good person that I am. Almost as if I'm scared to lose her to someone cooler or better in any sense.
Maybe I think that she values those traits more than the ones I have.
And that's a lie because I know she loves me and wants me but my mind can't seem to comprehend that.
But I think it's all in my head.
I think I act like I'm this person that knows who he is and owns it in a way but to be fair I feel little.
I feel like I'm not enough for anyone.
Or a little too much for some.
Well no one ever tells you that fourteen calls will turn into none a week
Look me in my eyes and say that we need to speak
I've been hungry but not eating
Losing but not cheating
Wanna hold you for another evening, it's too bad that you're leaving
And I guess that is the reason
That we are having this meeting
I really should have just read you
I should get better at reading
Identifying your feelings
I started getting complacent
I wasn't really appealing
You say I should have been shaving
But where can I find motivation?
I can't even look in the mirror and see my reflection
I look like a mess nah
I hate it.
I hate looking, finding another reason why
I couldn't be your die.
You made it, you made it obvious
We couldn't be lovers
You need somebody that makes you feel good on your own.
And I wasn't that one, I couldn't be good on my own.
So then again, I love this girl with my whole f*cking heart.
I don't ever really want things to end between us if I'm honest.
I wanna just stay with her for the rest of my life.
But I also feel like that might not be possible if I portray all these emotions to her and act differently due to them.
Feel irrational things sometimes and that's who I am.
But I'm flawed, I really am.
Just like everyone on this planet.
I can't be perfect.
I guess I just hope she loves my flaws and the fact that my mind isn't this wonderfully sweet place but instead sometimes, it's just too much to bear.