Marcus Gray - Rockstar Holiday Lyrics

[Intro]
Fake smiles at the dinner table
Pretending that I'm stable
While these demons got me labeled
As the one who made it, yeah

[Verse 1]
Christmas lights hit different when you're broken inside
Family portraits on the wall, but they don't know I cry
Playing dress-up like I made it, yeah, I'm living lies
Mom's so proud of her rockstar son, if she only tried
To see beneath this icy surface where my truth lies
Got a platinum mask for the holidays, it's my disguise
Remember being eight, crying silent in my room
Now I'm twenty-eight, still fighting with these winter blues

[Chorus]
Rockstar holiday, yeah, I'm putting on a show
Everyone's watching while I'm feeling so damn low
They want autographs, but I can't sign my soul
'Cause this perfect act is taking its toll, yeah
Rockstar holiday, mama's perfect boy
But this fake smile is starting to destroy
Everything I built, everything I am
Can't keep pretending that I give a damn

[Verse 2]
Pass the eggnog, toast to success they never saw
Behind these designer shades, I'm still that kid from before
Anxiety creeping while they're asking for an encore
Of this perfect life I'm living, but I'm f*cking bored
Of playing this role, of being their hope
Of carrying expectations while I'm barely staying afloat
Yeah, I made it out, but at what f*cking cost?
When every Christmas feels like something else I lost

[Outro]
Rockstar holiday...
But I'm still that scared kid inside
Rockstar holiday...
Wonder when these lights will die