I lost part of me in your pursuit to be free
9 months and I still feel a hole
I feel it rising up in me, all the anguish, all the grief
I used to think pain comes then goes
It's rising up in me, the loss of you: pure misery
Just vacant thoughts & memories
Of a life so bright, defined by kindness, and love alike
I swear I'll keep your soul alive
Although your smile's gone, and your heart's moved on
It rests on us to keep your memory strong
Wherever you may roam, please know you'll always be
Part of my flesh and bone. That's what you meant to me
It's rising up in me, incessant guilt, I do decree
I'm well aware I wasn't there
Did you think us friends, when it all came to an end?
Did you think we didn't care? I swear we did. I swear we cared
Each busy day moves on
Get on with life: "There's nothing wrong"
No time to lend a word or two. Bullshit!
I admit that's not true
So I learned the hard way, I won't do it again
I've made an oath to protect my friends
I won't feel this pain again; if you're fighting demons, I'll help defend
It's warped my mindset, I can't pretend
My emotional state can't comprehend
All the flats & steeps & rights & wrongs & highs & lows
They don't compare to this blow
The expectation to feel okay
Feels demanded of me, I'm meant to heal each breath I breathe
(But he's gone) My dear friend (but he's gone)
My brother (but he's gone), I loved you
It's rising up in me, we're left in agony
But we all know what we must do
Treasure every memory, you've got a home here spiritually
We swear we'll keep your soul divine
Although your smile's gone, and your heart's moved on
It rests on us to keep your memory strong
Wherever you may roam, please know you'll always be
Someone forever loved, that's what you meant to me
Well I knew it hurt
That's why you left the Earth
I know it f*cking hurt
To be misunderstood by us
Now all I know is hurt
It's rising up, relentless grieving
When does it stop to hurt?
Forever, enshrined, in our tarnished hearts