Maggie Long - self control Lyrics

I care a lot, I think it's clear
I take long walks off short-ass piers
I came, I saw, I made a deal
With the devil, surprise he was insincere
But you make it sound so good, you melt away my fears
With pretty little things you whisper in my ear
And I'm not even surprised when it all disappears
Were you ever really here?
How can you explain yourself
When you spend your nights on someone else?
You can't keep me on the shelf,
Like a story that you never tell
And I don't wanna leave you alone
'Cus I can see past you acting like you're strong
But how can I explain myself
When heaven starts to feel like hell?
Over-interpret, I undermine
My ability too see you're not mine
All your pain, it intertwines
You hide in boxes instead of crying
And I wanna make you stay, want you to loose your mind
I wanna close my eyes and let you rob me blind
And I'm hesitant to change, but I'd leave it all tonight
If you could just be mine, but
How can you explain yourself
When you leave again? It's a cry for help, and
I can't change the cards your dealt
So there's no meaning in the words you yell
And I know that I put up a fair fight and
It kills me having to say goodbye
But how can I explain myself
When your acting like your someone else?
I don't blame you, I never could
I don't resent you like I should
And I don't hate you, I don't think I can
But I can't save you or hold your hand
Wish you regretted the things you did and
I wish you said it like it is
And I hope I muster the self control
To see you walk past me and let you go
I don't know, I don't know if I can let you go
How can you explain yourself
When you never caught me when I fell? and,
Even though I hate the shelf,
I don't want it to hold no one else
And it's not how I wanted this to end and
Sometimes I play pretend like
I could've changed myself
And heaven never turned to hell