Lullabyboy - Dissociating Lyrics

I look in the mirror and I can't recognize
The face that I know
The face that I want

Feeling the sickness of the drugs
Hold me tight am I alive?
Nothing feels real and I'm not dead
Hold me close
Hold me close

I feel dead when I'm alive
Oh
I feel dead when I'm alive

I look in the mirror and I can't recognize
The face that I know the face that I want

I wish I didn't do those things
Maybe I'd be in a better place
Maybe I wouldn't want to
Blow my brains

Blow my brains
Blow my brains
Oh
Blow my brains
Blow my brains

I feel dead when I'm alive
Oh
I feel dead when I'm alive
I'm alive