Loudon Wainwright III - Cobwebs Lyrics

Well it stumbles and it falls off of almost every tongue
Give a listen and you'll hear
It's workin like a landmine in almost every sentence
It's an assault to my mind's ear

Yeah it might have started back with Jack Kerouac
Probably more than likely it was Maynard G. Krebs
It's the four letter word that used to mean 'as if'
And the meaning's covered in cobwebs
Cobwebs

Used to be a preposition then it was a conjunction
Now it's used as an audible pause
Oh I hate it when I hear it especially when I see it
Gotta stamp it out there ought to be some laws

College boys valley girls mall rats grandmammas
Everybody's misusin that word
I heard it four times in one poor little sentence
It was the saddest sound I ever have heard
Cobwebs
Cobwebs
Cobwebs

I suppose you could blame it on my generation
Chickens from the 60s finally comin into roost
I've been sayin it myself for over thirty years now
Just to give my cool quota just a little bitty kind of a boost

But when I hear it
I can't stand it
Especially coming out of the mouths of one of my own kids

It's been taught and, God,
What have we wrought?
Give a listen here, what do we dig?

I prefer ah or er
You can rest assured
If you're sayin what you mean then it don't mean a thing
It's just an ugly little four letter word

Doesn't anybody care or am I the only one?
Am I just stuck back in some kind of a past?
Maybe it's harmless but it feels like a virus
And it sounds like it's catchin on fast
Cobwebs
Cobwebs