Lou Kelly - Halloween Party Lyrics

Alright, I brushed my hair back and popped my pimples
I am ready to enter this room
Right now, I'm just a boy but that's OK
I'll be a man soon

Let's go

I've been drinking for what felt like days
I've been brushing my teeth but the smell won't go away
I tried bathin' and shavin'. I think I need some saving
You know what the "H" means
Jesus Hygiene Christ

I'm wearing jeans that are just too tight
(Oh, no). I saw this girl at this party tonight
So I'm jumpin'. Fist pumping
I'm hopin' for some humping
We made eye contact
At least once or twice

She said make like a tree and leave
I don't wanna be alone
Well, too bad. Go home
Just go home

I got the courage to get up and dance
(Oh, no). I stepped too wide and I split my pants
My lefty, my righty stickin' out my tighty-whities
What do I do
Pull yourself together, man

I try to tip-toe to the corner of the room to hide myself and my split pantaloons
God, I'm ugly
No, I'm fugly
Yes, that label fits me snugly just like my poor pants
God, I hate myself. Why did I bring myself here

Don't mind me

Alright, pull yourself and your pants together
It's not the end of the world
It's a Halloween party after all
You can just say it's part of your costume or put on a mask and no one will ever have to know it's you
It's OK. You'll get through this

Please, don't mind me
I just want some punch
I wanna get piss drunk tonight so I can pretend this never happened

Will you please stop breathing on me
I don't wanna be alone
Well, too bad. Go home
Just go home

God, I hate myself
Why did I bring myself here