Lou Kelly - Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite) Lyrics

When I try to make a fist
My thumb is tucked away inside
When I pull over my mask
It gives my face a place to hide

Oh, no
Oh, no
Where is my crime fighting pepper spray?
Oh, no
Oh, no
How will I keep all the scrum of the earth away?

That's why they call me a

Crap crusader
Calling for help in the night
Plain purveyor
The first to lose in a fight
Don't you know that I'm all bark, no bite?

When I try to throw a punch
My hand don't know where to land
Stand too close, I quit
I quit
Submit
I hide so my hide can't be tanned

Wear all black
Don't attack
Cigarette
Drenched in sweat

Oh, no
Oh, no
Where is my trusty old fog machine?
Oh, no
Oh, no
How will I make my escape with no smoke screen?

That's why they call me a

Crap crusader
Calling for help in the night
Plain purveyor
The first to lose in a fight
Don't you know that I'm all bark, no bite?

(Down)

Oh, yeah
Calling for help in the night
Plain purveyor
The first to lose in a fight

I'm all bark, no bite
I'm all bark, no bite
A giant with no might

I'm all bark, no bite
Yes, you heard me right
I'm all bark, no bite

Don't you know that I'm all bark, no bite?