Clouds Video (MV)

I been addicted to a feeling always thrills me
I was taking all those drugs hoping they kill me
And nothing seems to numb the pain more than the pills be
I'm sick of all this fake love, I want the real thing
Downed so many pills it started f*cking up my health
And no one noticed 'cause they didn't care how hard I fell
I'm sick of feeling all alone, sick of not having no friends
And the hardest part's admitting I need help

And people tell me I'm somebody's everything
There's too much weight on my shoulders I've been carrying
I'm at a point where I don't look forward to waking up
So now I'm looking forward to the day when y'all can bury me
I've been to the hospital too many f*cking times
At this point I think life would be better if I died
I'm sick of people telling me that I can win the fight
But y'all don't understand how many times I f*cking tried

This whole lifestyle never suited me
I never thought about the shit this shit would do to me
I made so many wrong decisions and it ruined me
I miss the days when I ain't have no one saluting me
Please be true to me, the cruelty is killing me
I've got a lot of raw emotions that are still in me
And I can't get em out
I got too many demons
My favorite memories are when I'm dying when I'm dreaming

Heartbroken, soft spoken to the lies, yeah
After all them times I spent alone when I would cry, yeah
Hate the fact that I'm still standing here alive, yeah
After all those crashes and attempts of suicide yeah
I'm nothing but a f*cking mistake
Depression setting in and it's been getting worse by the day
It's no f*cking wonder why my heart aches
I know the pain will go away if I finally blow my brains