Lij - Gatsby Lyrics

Everything feels so different
Got new shit, nothing on my wish list
Still got people on my hit list
I ain't out for blood
But it's got the same thickness
Closure, if you're really so sure you don't need me
Just make sure you really see me
('Cause I live life like I'm dreaming)

Chase another bag by the time that you hear this
Wasting my breath tryna act like I'm fearless
Blacking out, piss drunk, staring at the ceiling
Denying how I messed up
F*ck all the feelings

You were in the way
Now I'm great
I don't hate
Anybody but myself and the trauma that I deal with
Anytime I think that I'm insane, I conceal it
Only one to blame for how am is me
That's real shit
Damn

I don't understand
How I've even come this far
I mean, I've worked real hard
Like I can run up checks
And I can spit nice bars
But I can't no text no back
A broken heart

Is all I have to show
For coming down this road
I mean, right now is dope
Guess I'm proud to know
That all the stupid shit
And all the girls I miss
Is why I'm here right now
Give me a hook to spit, like

You're gone
I don't think I'll get you back
But i'ma count these bands
If that's really all I have, guess I'll go Gatsby on 'em

Ooh, got designer shoes
Walk a mile in them
Don't feel like winning
Too much decision
My health is dwindling
The signs I've hid them
The pain I've lived in

For weeks
Catching up on sleep
Feeling like a ghost 'cause I never really eat
But they don't really care when I say it on beat
And even when it drops out, y'all still asleep

This ain't a cry for help
'Cause I've been by myself
But no amount of wealth
Is gonna fix my shelf
Where all my memories sit
All the sappy shit
Collects dust over time
Still can't package it

F*ck the lonely nights
And the bloodshot eyes
And my day job sucks
Working overtime
For a check that I can't buy new lungs with
Out of breath, at least i feel something

You're gone
I don't think I'll get you back
But i'ma count these bands
If that's really all I have, guess I'll go Gatsby on 'em

Let's be honest
I only flaunt it hoping
You might want this
I barely started but I'm

Out here reppin' the hometown
West side
Come to my shows, put your phone down next time
Hurts, and it shows
Just wait for the next line
"Sad and alone"
That's a "probably 'bout his ex" line

"Wearing new clothes"
That's a "probably tryna' flex" line
"Everybody knows" that's a "trying to deflect" line
There's a pattern to this
It's sad and stupid
But it gets you lit
And that ain't useless, for real

I'm just tryna' feel
Like I could be one of the greats
Like I'm a big deal
I could be driving the freight
Like I'm a big wheel
But I'm not ashamed to say that nothing feels real

Since you've gone
I don't think I'll get you back
But i'ma count these bands
If that's really all I have, guess I'll go Gatsby on 'em

Up, down, sideways
If I had things my way
You'd stop playing games with me and finish coming my way

Limelight don't mean shit
If I go blind, lights out, that's it
Yeah I know we made a mess
But it's not something we can't fix
But truly

I don't even know
I'm always doubting my abilities
A hundred on a bag, but still feel like a liability
Locked up, tied down
Leave me like the last time
Tossed up, five thou'
Flexing's just a past time

You're gone
And I'll never get you back
So i'ma count these bands
If they're really all I have, guess I'll go Gatsby on 'em