LEX the Lexicon Artist - Self-Proclaimed Psychic (feat. Schaffer the Darklord) Lyrics

You are standing in the presence of greatness, take a chair, I got you
I, the world's greatest psychic, Reigen Arataka
Am here to save you from your spirits and such
Unbelievably powerful and just fearless enough

I am idolized by Espers, mocked by skeptic adults
Call me a phony and fraud all you want, but check my results
I've cured a One-Click Curse with my Sorcery Crush
Defeated a biker boss with my BANISHING SALT PUNCH!

This is but one of my many special attacks
I'm a pro at the con in confidence I'm packing in stacks
And I've got a secret weapon that'll solve any job
A validly talented adolescent named Mob

And sure, I overwork him and I call him an idiot
But I care for the kid, at least that bit is legitimate
I guess my greatest gift's the difference that a mentor can make
And not successfully selling suckers the oil of a snake

I'm the world's greatest psychic - And I am his sidekick
Providing exorcisms at competitive prices
He's a self-proclaimed genius - Nary a known weakness
But all of his clients find his abilities specious

I'm a silver-tongued devil - Are my powers not special?
You'll be so crazy strong you'll melt things when you get to my level
Ok, if you say so - CHEESEBURGER TORNADO!
I make a couple bucks an hour taking most of his caseload

Going to school, acting a fool in front of all the girls (Damn)
Wanna be cool, but follow the rules and watch my life unfurl (Huh)
Gotta be fit, I go to the gym, it makes me wanna hurl (Bleh)
But I got a job and I got a boss, the best in all the world (Yeah)

That's right, I'm a part time employee
For a manager I find only slightly annoying
I get paid minimum wage for the spirits I eradicate
Some people never get that even after they graduate

He validates my talent when he lets me assist
Although I know my expertise is only second to his
It's the outlet for my powers that I've missed, and if you resist
My massive psycho wave you're getting decked by his fist

We're an epic team, getting rid of monsters in your closet
Though I wish he'd let me add an extra chashu to my ramen
You could say it's unethical, what we sell is corrupt
But hey I'd rather go to work than do telepathy club

I'm the world's greatest psychic - And I am his sidekick
Providing exorcisms at competitive prices
He's a self-proclaimed genius - Nary a known weakness
But all of his clients find his abilities specious

I'm a silver-tongued devil - Are my powers not special?
You'll be so crazy strong you'll melt things when you get to my level
Guess I'm kind of a novice - Anti-Esper Dropkick!
But watch me throw down when I walk in the office

We're the world's best psychics, the masters of mind tricks
Providing exorcisms at competitive prices
He's a self-proclaimed genius - Nary a known weakness
But all of his clients find his abilities specious

I'm a silver-tongued devil - Are my powers not special?
You'll be so crazy strong you'll melt things when you get to my level
Ok, if you say so - CHEESEBURGER TORNADO!
I make a couple bucks an hour taking most of his caseload