Ah, before you say another word, may I present to you Alf The show is on, your eye-lids are growing heavy, you are getting sleepy You are no longer a cat, you are a bagel What are you doing? - Hey, you scared me, you ought to wear a bell What's going on here? - What happened here? I was, I was just teaching Lucky how to tell time Show Willie what you've learned You are hypnotizing him, aren't you? Okay, you caught us, I'm trying to help Lucky to beat the smoking problem Just kidding, ha, ha, ha! - Go for it Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth I can't get back to my place of birth I'm making the best of a bad situation Think of it as an extended vacation Hello - is that you, Mister President? Listen, I know you're a busy guy, so I'll make this brief We've only got one planet, so why don't you and the Rusky Ease up a little, will you? Goodnesses, that's pretty complicated Hope I haven't oversimplified the problem I'm, I'm sure we'll do everything we can Mr. Alf, we're sending someone around right now To follow up this thing, you just sit tight, okay? -You too! Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth .... Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth .... Alf, what are you doing in my dress? - Blame the guy in the dress No, don't make a sound, stay right here and take off the dress Alright, but I feel it only fair to warn you I'm not wearing anything underneath Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth .... Well, don't we feel foolish?