[ Featuring Beetlejuice ]
I was hot
I went to parties a lot
Y'know?
I was driving Lamborghinis
Sipping super-dry martinis
In the tiniest bikinis on a yacht
But I was depressed, uh
Also completely obsessed
An unhappy beauty queen
Who dreamed to be Miss Argentina
I had such low self-esteem
I was a mess
So I gave it all up for the Netherworld
I've been here forever, girl
If I was more clever, girl
I would've stuck it out
Knowing what life's about
Pain and joy and suffering
Failing but recovering
I'll tell you another thing
Everyone here is alone
So if you are breathing
Go home
If I knew then
What I know now
I would have looked within and let love in somehow
If I only knew
The truth back then
I wouldn't have had my little "accident"
Don't be blind
You left your whole life behind
See a shrink
Call a priest
Ask the recently deceased
Death is final and you cannot press rewind
Don't jump when the light is red
Toasters should be used for bread
Never smoke cigars in bed
Nietzsche was right, y'know, to live is to suffer, bro
Don't cheat on the one you wed
Never whip a thoroughbred
Angry pygmies shrunk his head
Why did it take death to see
Happiness was up to me?
If I knew then
What I know now
I would've laughed and danced
And lanced every sacred cow
I thought I knew
But I was wrong
'Cause life is short
But death is super long
I exploded
If I knew then
(If I knew)
What I know now
I would've crossed every line
And drank all the wine
Before my final bow
If I knew (if I knew)
The things that now I know
I would ride the highs and cherish the lows
Knowing it's a quick trick 'round the rodeo
So before they lower the curtain, be certain to enjoy the show
That's what I know
Life is short but death is long
Here, one minute then it's gone
Thought I knew but I was wrong
If I only knew what I know now
