I'd like to welcome you all
On behalf of the bride and the groom
If I had the balls to say what I think
I could clear the room
Had my first drink
Round a quarter to two
If I'm starting to make no sense
Well whoopdee-f*ckin-do
I got a schooner in the left
Cigarette in the right
I wish the happy couple
All the happiness in their life
Or some shit like that...
Cause this wedding is horseshit
But for my transgressions
Be standing in his shoes
Well I could never understand
Why she saw through me and not through you
Now this hot sleek cougar
Bout to make her move
She drags me down to the floor
Well it's only right that I throw her some moves
Got a schooner in the left
Cigarette in the right
I do the hippy shake shake
With all of my might oh yeah
This wedding is horseshit
Got some dick
Prattling on about his qualities
Well if you knew half the shit he's pulled
Bring this crowd down to it's knees
Hey hey hey hey
The Eagle Rock well it's here to stay
But she was never that crazy
Bout my wayward moves
I got a schooner in the left
Cigarette in the right
I do the hippy shake shake
With all of my might oh yeah
This wedding is horseshit