I wanna be a drug-sniffing dog
So I can snort coke all day long
Bite my master when it suits me
Get off on diminished capacity
I wanna be a customs man
Snoop through your stuff 'cos I can
Sneaky-peaky pry through your private lives
Stroke your panties jackin' off at lunch
Weh-Oh, Weh-Oh-Ho!
Sure beats Alpo
It's the life
It's the stink
It's the attitude
I wanna be a San Francisco cop
So I can speed and run red lights
And sure as Rodney was a King
We got ways to make you sing
We can seize everything
Houses, cars, and life savings
Keep the loot for ourselves
Fake drug charge works every time
I wanna join the Christian Coalition
So I can molest my children
None suspect me cos I've been saved
Til my stepdaughter drowns her kids in a lake
Weh-Oh!, Weh-Oh
Spare rod
Spoil the child
It's the life
It's the stink
Choose your masks