laggie - growing lost Lyrics

First thing I'd like to say is I already have a plan
I'll tie myself to my bed until I can no longer escape
I know you'll want to free me but there's only one way
You'll have to break me down but you've already done that
And I can still forgive you, you gotta work a little hard
In the end what's the point, I'll just do you bad
I'll try the mirror again, you gotta love yourself
But it's kinda pointless my friends, I better kill (Myself)
Give me paper, give me pen, give a chance to explain
I find my lyrics flying through my brain, like an airplane
I guess needed someone like you to drive me sane
To stay in my lane and to absorb my blame
Sometimes I'd like to go back to when I didn't know love
To where everything that mattered was the making of my own
Well I didn't know, I was barely even born
Now I'm 18 years old and I'm already a sort-of
My mind's full now, that you're absent
Filled with the noise, of your silence
I remember when your curses made no sense
But now they do and I'm an idiot if you really say so
Although you may have done it in self-defense
I promise you I have no way to counterweight though
I made you lose your ride, you made me lose my heart
I'm trying to locate it now, I'm just so torn apart
I swear I would exchange it, is that okay?
My heart for my soul, cause that's a thing I lacked while growing lost
Yeah, that's the thing I lacked while growing lost
Yeah, that's the thing I lacked while growing lost
Yeah, that's the thing I lacked while growing lost
Alright, buckle up cause I'm far from done
It's only been two minutes and it's dark outside
And that's probably her, she's blocking out the sun
Making me feel guilty for a shot that I misguied
Cause I said I'd make up for it and she saw that I lied
And if I had a head I guess it's already fried
I get to make a decision, to live or to die
But it's not for me, it's for my soul divide
I said before I only want a chance but I already had it
Threw it to the side and blamed my mum and dad on it
When all I had to do was to get out of the car
And make a run for it, but I was a young mind
My mind's full now that you're absent
Filled with the noise of your silence
My mind's full now that you're absent
Filled with the noise of your silence
I remember when your curses made no sense
But now they do and I'm an idiot if you really say so
Although you may have done it in self-defense
I promise you I have no way to counterweight though
(My mind's full now of your silence)
I made you lose your ride, you made me lose my heart
I'm trying to locate it now, I'm just so torn apart
I swear I would exchange it, is that okay?
My heart for my soul, cause that's a thing I lacked while growing lost
My mind's full now that you're absent
Filled with the noise of your silence
(Of your silence)
My mind's full now that you're absent
Filled with the noise of your silence