Lil Trip - To my momma Lyrics

Take a look at my past, bet you'd wonder how I last
My life is fading right before my eyes, very fast
Reminisin' bout the mother that I never had
She split from all this shit and left me with dad
Goddamn, was it my fault, somethin' I'd done
To make my mother leave and forget her muthaf*ckin' son
Now I ain't seen her for thirteen muthaf*ckin' years
Where the f*ck you at mom? I've shed so many f*ckin' tears
You must not give a damn what the f*ck happens to me
What about my older brother, you think that he doesn't see?
You and dad wasn't in love, why the f*ck am I here?
Am I a mistake? Is that why you disappeared?
Now I'm madder than a muthaf*cka, take a shot of liquor
I know it ain't good, but it will get me off this Earth quicker
I wish I could go back and miscarriage my birth
Ain't nothin' worth livin' for on this hopeless Earth

[Chorus-2x]
Dear momma, reall what the f*ck can I say?
I don't even know you, does it have to be this way?
Don't a f*ckin' minute pass that you ain't on my mind
Without you in my life, I feel so blind

My father tells me about you, I don't know if it's true
He said you never cared for me, so why the f*ck should I care for you?
Is it true? Do you hate me? Am I not your child?
If I ever met you, would you be in denial?
Tell me why there's so much hate between you two
Everytime I ask my dad it falls right back on you
If you wuz never in love, what took so long to find out?
You had my brother four years before I wuz planned out
Life's just f*cked up, this shit just isn't fair
I don't even know you and you don't even f*ckin' care
For all I know, you may not even be alive
Goddamn, if you ain't I won't even cry
If you are gone I probably won't feel any anger
My feelings won't let me cry for a muthaf*ckin' stranger

[Chorus-2x]

I'm just writin' you this song to let you know how I feel
I play life like it's a game, but shit is just so real
Now I understand why I just don't give a f*ck
With all this pain in my brain, I feel like I'm stuck
So, I'm smokin' weed and doin' thangs I ain't supposed to do
Well, it looks to me like I'm takin' right after you
So, momma if you hear me, I ain't too far
I won't live long, cuz life is just too hard

[Chorus-4x]

I dedicate this song to my muthaf*ckin' momma.
To anyone without a momma, y'all know how it feels.
Life's harder than a muthaf*cka, exspecially not knowin' your momma.
But keep it real, you gotta keep your head up, that's my word