I Wish I Were Religious Video (MV)

I wish I were religious
I wish I believed
Then I'd believe that you were going to hell
And I'd be so relieved

I'd see your neck blubber bubbling
Your stupid hair aflame
You're begging for a sippy cup
And no one knows your name

In the reality show of hell
Only the devil knows you well
Only the devil knows you at all

Shades of men that you cheated
Unaware of your fame
Command you to tie their shoes
They don't know your name

Shades of women you accosted
Their loveliness makes you sick
You're drooling and you're throwing up
And you don't have a dick

In a vast cave of echoes
Decaying dictators declaim
That you're ugly, you look like a loser
They don't know your name

In a hall of molten lava
Roy Cohn plays a little game
He asks you about a billion times
"Remind me, sonny-what's your name?"

In the Golden-Shower Chamber
Saudi hookers stake their claim
For half an eon, you're their peon
And they don't know your name

A thousand years frozen in a glacier
A thousand years as an ashtray in a singles bar
A thousand years as a lowly postal worker
A thousand years as a string on Satan's guitar

Roger Ailes sits on you
Idi Amin shits on you
Mussolini pulls his peenie
Every time he grins at you

Your ridiculous parents
As creepy as ever
They walk on by you, don't recognize you
It goes on forever

But who am I kidding?
There ain't no hell
And ain't nobody gonna forget you
We know you too well

A thousand lifetimes as a stewardess on Ryanair
Losing seven billion lawsuits in a row
Losing seven billion debates to a smart woman
It's so unfair... it's so unfair... you can't remember your own name...it's so unfair...