King Ronin Da Scholar - Ideations Lyrics

Put a hole in my head 'bout the size of the hole in my heart
Double barrel Bite down blast off
Parked in the car lot at the Walmart
Friends and fam, yeah damn, they all shocked
Thought my shit was all talk
Really wanna know who would go to my funeral?
Open casket? Would they show? Or am I too far gone with bullet holes
Holy Spirit take me home, give me peace
This shit ain't for me no more, six feet deep for a decompose
Help me, I ain't felt at ease in a long minute
Hide myself alone or I numb with that bottle sippin'
Fill my palms with all my pills, dead it with my own presecription
Mix 'em up, I love my mom, but she ain't gonna get a hospital visit
Manic episode, weapon pokes at my temple, pull
Trigger? Maybe so, depends if someone call my cell phone
Messin' with a rope, will it hold? Do I see that man approach?
With a scythe, touch is cold, hidden with a cloak
I don't wanna feel this way, not another second
I've been tested, but I ain't strong enough, maybe it's better in Heaven
'Cus I can't seem to make it on earth, all this hurt
I just gotta feed the f*ckin' maggots in the dirt
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Medications, inpatients, stop these ideations
Don't help me, no police, no ambulance please
Gotta face this like a man, don't tell me how this shit cowardly
It's all an inner war, and I'm losin', I'm just submittin' to it
'Fore I go another moment and take more pain and bruisin'
I don't know how y'all can do it, I was born too defective
Every morning an uphill fight, every night is f*ckin' restless
Walkin' corpse already, all I feel empty, let me be selfish once
A bloody mess in moments, got my skull open, give my mom my love
I hold my breath and wish for death, summon the will to my index itchin'
Hold my breath and wish for death, one quick pull and I'm done bithcin'