Ken McGraw & Douglas Widick - I'm a Fuccboi (Toxic Masculinity: The Musical) Lyrics

Catch ya on the flipside! I'm definitely gonna text you!
I got your DM! Talk soon... (to self) pshhh f*ck thaaatt never gonna happen
Oh man my phone is totally blowing up...

How do i spend my days?
I guess you could say I have my fun...
I've got ten unread messages
But I haven't replied to one

I'm always a little drunk
But you know I'm not a slob
I gotta stay mad presentable
At my barista job

I'm a fuccboi
A fuccboi
No woman can lock me down
I'm a fuccboi
A fuccboi
I love to fucc all around town
Love is terrifying
And sex is just a toy
And that's why... I'm a fuccboi!

Oh Shit! Gavin!
TRENT! Didn't even see you there!
I've been standing here the whole time!
Well you know me
I have no peripheral vision since my lacrosse accident. Long live the Republic!
Woah, what was that!
Don't know!
My longest relationship was three months and change
All my exes are crazy, I promise you they're deranged

Some say I'm a narcissist. I say i'm just fun!
I hope they don't pass gun control
Or a ban on this manbun

I'm a fuccboi
A fucbboi
My new fade up is the bomb
I'm a fuccboi
A fuccboi
The only women we respect are our mommmmmssssss
Our 20's may be ending, and our favorite movie's TROY!
And that's why... we're fuccbois!

Yo yo yo Fuccbois aren't new, can't you see
Here's some famous Fuccboi's from history

You got JAY Z, DIDDY, and FDR
Tiger woods hole in one in the back of the car
Dr Suess, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jude Law
Donald Duck, Daffy Duck, and Lion King('s) Scar

You got the whole cast of grease, the whole cast of cheers
King Fuccboi Norm drinkin all the beerz
Thomas Jefferson the f*ckboi bustin through the door
Let's not forget the four chillin' up on Rushmore
(Toke. Toke)

Fuccboi s on TV that's where it's at
There's scott disick bobby flay and Spencer Pratt BOIIIIII
But make no make mistake where your money should be spent
Best two fuccbois in the world are gavin and TRENT!

Fuccboi we're fuccbois
Can't remember when I last cried
Fucbois we're fuccboi's
We're secretly dead inside

When we're both looking to bone, you know that we're not coyyyyyyyyyyyy
And that's whyyyy
And that's why...
You got a new match on tinder!
OH FUCC!
We're Fuccbois!