I've been living in a past tense
Hoping that this makes sense
'Cause I keep dreaming of my own death
And I've been waking up in cold sweat
Bathing in my regret
It's like theres a hitman inside my head
I've been laying on the street side
Letting the cars go by
Like I'm tempting fate if it is my time
And If i wanted to be lied to
I would have just asked you
But clearly that's not what I had in mind
And I know that I'm still young
But I haven't accomplished much
I'm 19 and already I lost my touch
So I'm still alive, but it's in fear and it's in spite
I've stood my ground the best I could in a losing fight
You've been calling me since last week
Wondering if I'm sad or happy
But I think that i'm somewhere in between
And I've been eating all my meals again
But making lists of my friends
That I'd like to haunt if my life were to end
I've been stumbling around
Every road of this town
Just to find me a sign
Or a small sense of closure
But all that I got
Was I lost of my faults
Mental maps of the streets
And some feet that got tired
Keep thinking about
Every one of my doubts
How I promised the world
But the world got too heavy
Now I can't move on
'Cause the weight of this all
And my body still torn
And this bottle's still empty