Karman - I Need To Throw Up Again Lyrics

I need to throw up again
Today I really wanna be perfect
Take off my dress and truly feel that I'm worth it
Sometimes I find I think I do it on purpose
Cause deep down I just know I deserve it
"I don't know what to do with myself...
... and I don't wanna feel anything"
(Yeah I know I deserve it)
"I can't stop looking at myself in the third person...
... lately, it feels like the walls have eyes"
When I was dying everything felt so worthless
But now I'm better think I might have preferred it
Why the f*ck do I keep feeling nostalgic?
Honestly, I'm really tryna unlearn this
Twenty thousand rooms I could be in
Talking to my friends is just like talking to demons
Talking to myself is just like talking to my father
Rather make up some excuse to go the bathroom
Empty myself out because
I need to throw up again
You only see so much on the surface
Pick up my toothbrush and I start to get nervous
Sometimes I wanna peel my skin off and burn it
Flesh only looks good when it's thrown in a furnace
I'm in my bedroom but I kinda feel homesick
See my reflection in a pool of my own sick
Wanna look pretty when I die, I've rehearsed it
Something so pretty about rotting in public
Twenty thousand rooms I could be in
Talking to my friends is just like talking to demons
Talking to myself is just like talking to my father
Rather make up some excuse to go the bathroom
Empty myself out because
I need to throw up again
I tried to tell you but I'm glad no one heard it
They'll only help me if I cause a disturbance
Without the pain to make me pretty I'm dog shit
How could I tell myself I'm pretty without it?
Teeth rotting, Hair falling , Nails chipping,
Bones Jutting out, skin tearing, blood spilling
All the things I put myself through I still went through with
The internet knew I was dead before you did
I need to throw up again
I cannot take this anymore