Kaili - 2nd Child Lyrics

Can't tell my ma how many times that she coulda lost her second child
I hate to think about it, I was actin wild
Need to say some more prayers dawg I can't lie
Long talks with myself I need to fix my life
I been rollin by myself, yeah it's been awhile
Seen my family turn they back, it's been on my mind
Wrote this song sittin on my steps, it was a long night
They intentions be the best but they don't know my life

I seen my father shed a tear when my uncle died
I was too young to understand I never seen him cry
I'm tryna take it day by day, can I take my time
Sick of rememberin this pain got me paralyzed
God I'm waitin on your hand's sick of these homicides
And Im losin close friends, drugs takin lives
I know I'm sinning, need a cleanse but I can't get it right
You see my flaws in the end, know you hear my cries
Hope one day I'll be forgiven, Lord I been trying
Feel like I'm just no good, can't even see the signs
Shawty can tell that something wrong, she see it in my eyess
I just need some better vibes, I pullup on my guys
I need zero negativity around me
I know we ain't made perfect but it's got me hurtin
I'm breakin down, sayin prayers I might hit my knees...
Askin God to give me courage, devil say I'm worthless
Sipping wine steady thinkin, why we keep on sinkin
I'm just tryna stay afloat , just gotta keep on tryin
Take a look around my city, why these kids dyin
Tryna keep my mama smilin anything but cryin
If I ever get a bag I'ma feed my Gs
Cause they the ones who held me down I was down & out
And if I never make another play this on repeat
This my honest testimony, ima sing it loud

Tryna fight thru all this pain Ma what happened to your second child?
Trauma on my mind I can't tell you why
Ask me how I'm doin, I just tell you fine
Cause I hate to let you down, rather see you smile
Seen a innocent man shed tears cause he lost his trial
Swear this cycle never end, this cant be life
Tired of living life this way, I ain't feelin right
God I'm waitin for yo hands will I get it right?

If I left you in the cold it was colder inside
I had to separate myself, no more bad vibes
If I treated you too bad then I apologize
But I won't tell it to ya face , got too much pride
I'm tryna let go my past, it come back at night
Too much heartbreak as a youngin left me traumatized
I roll solo but my brodies always right beside
So much trouble on my side but I'm gon survive
You might hate my slow songs but it's alright
Cause right now, I just wanna talk about my life
Love my bros, feel like I knew em my entire life
And if you ain't 1thou, you can't speak on Kai!
If I ever get a bag ima feed my Gs
Know I'm prayin for you all hope you pray for me
Askin God every night protect my family
And if I never make another play this on repeat, just play it for the Gs

Can't tell my ma how many times that she could've lost her second child
I hate to think about it , I was actin wild
Need to say sum more prayers dawg I can't lie
Long talks with myself I need to fix my life
I been rollin by myself, yeah it's been awhile
Seen my family turn they back, it's been on my mind
Wrote this song sittin on my steps, it was a long night
They intentions be the best but they don't know my life