Kafayat Quadri - When You Said You Wanted to Be Friends (feat. Alana Azlan) Lyrics

I always wondered what life would be like if we could control time
Like a video strip - in a continuum
Where we could skip to the parts that matter
And maybe alter outcomes at a whim
That thought crossed my mind when you told me it was over
When you said you wanted to be friends
I wanted to punch you in the face
I wanted time to rewind to the few seconds right before you said that
I wanted to see the words fly back into your mouth and I wanted to sew it shut
I wanted to freeze your face in that instant to see if there was any reluctance
My mind flashed back to the beginning when we held hands
And I was so relieved to know that your hands
Sweat just as much as mine do
And to the time we had our first kiss
And how new and awkward it was
Because it seemed like I was indeed your first
Like a microscopic lens it zoomed in on my heart
That was then being resuscitated back to life
I fast forwarded to the time you said you loved me
You didn't actually say it, you texted me a picture
Of those three words written on a dry leaf
Of all things, You always had a way of expressing
Yourself through still photographs
Whereas I have always needed words to breathe
My memory sped up to the night we got
Hot and heavy in the backseat of our friend's car
It went back as far as I remember you filling
Me inside the spaces of your heart
Which wasn't that far back
And after those few seconds of silence that
Seemed to span the length of days in mental time travel
I just stared at you, aghast. I didn't know what to say
Because all the right words were lost on me
And all thoughts of that day were quickly replaced
I don't even care to recall the details of it all
Because I know no amount of self-help articles
Or chats with girlfriends could help erase
That sentence from my brain
I think we should just be friends
The first time it replayed in my head
I stood in the rain for half an hour wishing I was dead
The second playback
I smoked a pack and a half in one day
The third time around was the same night
My mother found a hickey planted on my neck
By another man, the size of a Reese's peanut butter cup
I keep wanting to rewind and edit out all the mistakes
And start again when our love was still a game of
Press and play that amounted to a mixtape
No shitty tracks yet, just the good ones back to back
But we pushed each other's buttons - you kept
Hitting forward while my finger would always linger
On pause all because I wanted to be stuck in the past
But as much as we would like we have no control over time
Because life is not a VHS tape it's not a pre-recording or a playlist
There are no parts we can skip out on
No time-altering elements here
No slow motions no fast-forwards just pure unadulterated play
And sometimes you will only learn the
Value of a moment when it becomes a memory
So as much as I wanted to punch your face
I just stuck with what I do best
I hit the stop button and walked away