December 5th, 2021
I woke up and reflected on the past 5 years
All the failed attempts, wins
Moments that made me feel like I should quit
A little faith in me would've gone a long way
No one had faith in me
Still came a long way
I couldn't bare the thought of living this life without living life
Just couldn't bare not living my life
Hood baby
It's hard to really be myself on a regular
'Cause mama talk down on my music on a regular
Missing the times Amy called me on a regular
'Cause nowadays ain't nobody on my cellar
Hella depressed, lost it all but I had to
Feels these people held me back on a regular
Tryna be me these people think my life spectacular
These sacrifices keep up like on a regular
I bet my life into this music
Still an amateur
Can't move the mountains on my shoulders
I'm no aviator
I gotta step on all their necks
Be a predictor
I know they finna 'bout to try me on a regular
Hard to believe I'll ever win, that shit irregular
But I still work and try to make it on a regular
I had to change how I move 'cause they after us
I left school to make it work, so they mad at us
They so mad at us
Know huh (yeah)
Not all great things comes from great pain
Sometimes it's love
8 hours in the booth on a regular
Anything less really feels so irregular
I had to show em who I is, had to level up
I couldn't love again
Man think I had enough
I cannot handle love
I couldn't get it from my pops
Got it from the streets
But those were thugs
Robbing mothers in the alley ways
I had to get out, was a runner
Had to go my separate ways
Couldn't never be no gunner
When I be on my phone
Write lyrics, need a Grammy
It took a while, now I know what it is ain't
Nobody understand me
I used to yell
Hoping somebody could hear me
I cut the family ties, I had to go my own way
I had to be my own man
(independent with a plan)
Had to read between the lines
How could everybody do me wrong?
Maybe I'm too blame
Maybe I see what I wanna see
I'm so ashamed
That I don't know how to be a human in this world
I walked out of therapy
I couldn't bare my thoughts
But it's better on a beat
So much better on a beat
Me and Darius figured out that I am nothing
We're all nothing
It's a simulation man
It's all fake