July Quin - Unholy Unions (feat. Will Shish & America Serda) Lyrics

I wish I had the courage
To follow up on questions
You never got the answer to
My fault I kept you guessing
They weaponized my gentleness
So much I'm inexpressive
Despite my acquiescence
Cause love is not possessive
I can't discern another failed attempt
A bridge I burned
I prepped for the best
Yet I emptied all your reserves
And was encouraged by this sinister stirring feeling
That earned me abuse
And all I wanted was you
The great escape to your place where I lay safe in your arms
I know we've had hard
We're always breaking apart
And when we want a lot, we want it nothing or all
I'm hardheaded and you're brat
But you're still my dawg
My best friend
You want more of me not less than
And sometimes that's alarming
When I'm tired of performing
Could you love me on my dizzy days?
When I just need a break
When I make misdemeanors
And I can't stand the rain
I think that I was hurt
I know that I was hurt
I tried to hide it when you said something that shook my nerves
I started crying wondering is my home here
When there's evil out to get me
Could you protect me?
I'm scared of someone taking advantage again
Please if you love me don't remind me what I rather forget
See I don't need a duet
The same song from abusers and their ill repute
A cycle too abusive
The life and times of Truman
This don't excuse my behavior at all though
I know I broke your heart when I walked out of the door, know
I'm just to way too jealous, told you nothing or all yo
I know the price it cost but somewhere I got lost
And everything's become a blurry haze
I'm under the influence
A strong sense of hubris
And an unholy union
Between a kid wanting to cuddle in bed
And a man that'd be better off dead
Which will prevail in the end?

Mmm
In the end
Who loves me better than?

We've seen the good days, then the worst.
How do our missteps get reversed?
I could own up to where I went wrong
But I haven't been feeling too strong, so
Where do I find it, the nerve to say the words I've been hiding?
The clock ticks
We keep sliding
Further away from being okay.
Now I'm barely confiding
I can be a better version
The kind of person
Who can stand on his own without being alone
So, I'll keep trying
'Til we find a way to get by, and

There will be better days
There will be better
With someone better
We're so much better
Who loves me better
You love me better
And we'll be better
And we'll do better
Who loves me better?
You love me better
There will be better
We're so much better
And we'll do better
Cause we know better
And we'll be better
There will be better
There will be better days
There will be better
We're so much better
Cause we'll do better
Who knows me better?
You know me better
So, we'll do better
Cause we know better
There will be better days
There will be better
There will be better
We're so much better
There will be better
So much better
So much better
There will be better

You say you want things to change but your actions tell a different story