I wish to make amends to any of my many friends
Who had to put up with my introverted ways and tainted men-
Tality a battle that's a never ending story
Fighting for glory instead of fighting visions wishing head was gory
Still in my stubborn ways wishing memories dissipate
Making me itch to f*ckin kiss the gauge
I wonder how many listen to what I say
Lost count how many times I wished I could run away from everybody
I never felt like I was good enough for anyone
Even felt like mother deserves a much better son
Exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally
Feeling shelved wishing help would pick me up like groceries
But it's like pulling teeth for you to notice me
Doesn't matter if you're close to my heart like a rosary, damn!
You want more but I don't have much to give
I don't wanna die but I wish I never lived...
But if I can take it back...
I would stand up for myself
If I can take it back...
I'd take care of my mental health
If I can take it back...
I'd give all my bullies hell
If I can take it back...
My mother's bank account would swell
If I can take it back...
I'd slap some sense into my father
If I can take it back...
Instead of rap I'd become a scholar
If I can take it back...
I would gain back my confidence
But I can't take it back
Now I'm dying to escape the box I'm in
I wish to make amends to any of my many friends
Of the female gender I've crushed on but distanced with
Especially the ones still reaching out to me
But after these rejections feel like God's got it out for me
Love and date life is Murphy's Law hexed
Owner of a lonely heart that rarely gets a yes
Dating makes Dark Souls look like a kids game
Especially at this age feeling crazed and insane
I'm trying to hold it together
I'm yearning for your heart so I could hold it forever for real
F*ck the groupies that comes with fame
A best friend for a girlfriend who wants my name
That's a real blessing and I thought I found her
But her complicated relationship wilted my heart like flowers, damn!
Wish there was more I could give
I don't wanna die but I wished I never lived...
But if I can take it back...
I would stand up for myself
If I can take it back...
I'd take care of my mental health
If I can take it back...
I'd give all my bullies hell
If I can take it back...
My mother's bank account would swell
If I can take it back...
I'd slap some sense into my father
If I can take it back...
Instead of rap I'd become a scholar
If I can take it back...
I would gain back my confidence
But I can't take it back
Now I'm dying to escape the box I'm in
If I can take it back...
I wish I wasn't introverted
I tried to open up for years to my peers but it doesn't feel worth it
I wish I wasn't exhausted
From my main source of income when I know music is where I'm exalted
I wish I was always confident
Instead of spending years just to gain a little bit to still feel awkward
I wish I wasn't such a coward
I've let people walk all over me and leaving them behind gave em more power
I wish the girl of my dreams was here
I know I met her but the timing made everything between us weird
The way she makes me feel's like a Michael Jackson song
Had I met her sooner my lonely days would be gone
Wish I wasn't born speech impaired
Or mentally ill so life for me could be a little more fair
Wish there was more for me to give
I don't wanna die but I wished I never lived...
But if I can take it back...
I would stand up for myself
If I can take it back...
I'd take care of my mental health
If I can take it back...
I'd give all my bullies hell
If I can take it back...
My mother's bank account would swell
If I can take it back...
I'd slap some sense into my father
If I can take it back...
Instead of rap I'd become a scholar
If I can take it back...
I would gain back my confidence
But I can't take it back
Now I'm dying to escape the box I'm in
If I can take it back...