Joshua Hughes - a memoir of a lost man Lyrics

If you are with him forever
That'll be fine
But I'll still never forget
That life when you were mine
Not even a few months
Kissing him at the mall
My own damn friend
Three months after the fall
Two times since November
That you stole my own friends
Made them into your own
And had no regrets until the end
And I should've been prepared for this
But I didn't have a plan
But I guess now that you're here
You can hear
A memoir of a lost man

Lost in the visions
Of those knife deep incisions
I mean why would you like me?
Do I come off to needy?
Did you think I was dumb
Or do you just hate me?
I mean I can think of some dumb things
That I said in the past
But did that have to mean
That me and you couldn't last
You always told me I was smart
Thought you meant that in your heart
You played a clever little scheme
Fit perfectly in your theme
I'm not the man you think I am
Never abandoned my own plan
Just so you can read everything I am
In a memoir of a lost man

You took my heart and ripped it apart
Should I have known you would've done this from the start?
Is there a way for me to be a better man?
Or are you gonna sit there and destroy all that I am?
I feel like life is a burning city street
I can still get across but it'll set fire to my feet
Bet you liked it when the knife cut me deep
Because I'm sure I was just another one of your lost and misled sheep
I'm not saying that I was perfect with no mistakes
But that doesn't discount the stuff you did to my face
Every little thing I did you would always get so mad
Even if I was feeling depressed or just a little bit sad
And I know I could've said all this but I thought you'd understand
That's why I'm writing this so you can see
What's in a memoir of a lost man

So before you just assume that I'm salty about the past
Maybe you should know that my broken thoughts can last
I have moved on for what I assume is the most part
And I have picked up and put back my own damn heart
I don't want to make you look like a villain
When for Six months we were chilling
I made a lot of really dumb mistakes too
But I don't know how that compared to what I've seen you do
Sure I might've reacted on several occasions wrong
But how would you have reacted to a bomb?
So before you go and leave me as a broken godforsaken man
Thank you for reading a memoir of a lost man