Jonthedon - Suffering Lyrics

Feel like I been going through the most now
Lost as ever stuck and no purpose couldn't be found
Ain't no animosity they acting like it's beef now
And I just kept to myself they gathered up a weak crowd
Can not stand on business so they hinge on to whatever
Remaining undefeated so I'm walking like Mayweather
They whispered sweet nothings but the rumors didn't fit me
Tryna break my confidence but I'm just too equipped see
God done molded me from every test he put me up against
Times I almost broke I kept my faith when shit was getting tense
I'm asking for the guidance when I can not move with common sense
Praying for forgiveness when I couldn't get the message sent
Why am I bugging
Like anyone could feel me on this level
Tryna stand firm when everything just starts to tremble
Baby mama don't respect me went to court for more time
I'm barely getting any bench player that's sitting court side
Fighting all temptation cuz I'm feeling suicidal
Tryna scheme a come up cuz I'm sitting in survival
I'm just tryna flourish when we gon' get something stable
Started from the bottom top's just seeming like a fable
Borderline impossible I wonder if I'm able
Drain of my efforts sitting at my kitchen table
Punch in punch out do that repetitiously
Hustle all by any means we stack it up religiously
She just tryna hold me back she doing that ridiculously
Claiming I'm the problem but there ain't nobody fixing me
Learn to love my flaws
They can kiss my balls
Self certified
Don't need the applause
Sitting here appalled
Cuz I don't got it all
Suffered for too long I wonder if this paying off
God bless me with patience but there's times I'm steady shaking
Feeling like eternity with delayed gratification like yuh
Shits crazy man
It's like once you figure out the game
They done changed the rules on you
Can't even turn the corner on life
Get to a certain point
Shit drags you back from the starting point beyond that
Shit's wild man
Every time I plan it out
Shit don't end up panning out
Make me bring them cannons out
Tryna eat inside a drought
Find your park inside the doubt
That's how you learn what you about
Tryna keep myself together and keep myself from crashing out
Mad shit could've broke me but I can't sit in defeat
Careful how you approach me cuz I'll crash out and just leap
Mentally I'm not there cuz I'm steady getting tested
Gotta contemplate each out burstcuz I might end up arrested
And I know I'm living average still my turn out is impressive
Came up out the jungle where the children stay neglected
And the gangs around the corner is the soul sense of protection
To end up a statistic is awareness and acceptance
They tossing out the judgement but nobody got perfections
One apple to spoil'em
It spreads like and infection
They undercut and back door staying plugged in no connections
Tryna get the big drop so I can't trust when they check in like yuh