Jonthedon - Broken Home Lyrics

There she was October 5th
2017 Jai'Yanalyne the perfect gift
Shook my ass to tears I'm the first one you locked eyes with
Life gon' change forever and I knew I had to mindshift
Still remember taking you home car seat strapped in
This all new to me I struggle with it your mom laughing
Wake up late at night cuz you would cry and ain't accustomed yet
Hold you on my arms and you would fall asleep on top my chest
Watch your first steps I remember you was at my mom's
Lil weak legs but I knew that you would carry on
Struggling with words but still I'd hear you babble on
Go from that to playing songs and having singalongs
Stuck in one room cuz mom and dad ain't grown yet
Moved us out by myself saving up my own checks
Got your own room now spacious yeah she loving it
But dad would cheat on mom a lot and she would go discover it picture perfect
From the outside if you looking in
Was never happy with myself and kept that to myself within
Mom would just go blame me and never owned up to her toxic ways
Finally agree to break up she just packed her things and moved away
Damn
Now we splitting time
No issues though I didn't duck you cuz I knew you mine
I always understood what having a father meant to me
And mine wasn't consistent how could I ever let you be
You ain't ask for none of this I gotta make the most of this
Show you better than what I had couldn't let you grow up mad
How could I call myself a man
Stepping up to the impossible
Behind on rent and jobless and cold water out the faucet though
Plugged in space heaters we would cuddle in the room for warmth
Pray to God to bless me cuz these problems cornered me and swarm
Couldn't keep a job cuz I'm in charge of getting you from school
Struggle to balance all of this and countless times I'd lose my cool
Ain't no good dinners only knew how to heat up some food
Wondered why I always walked around in such a pissy mood
Start to come back
But unfortunately the tension's tense
Ma felt my recovery would surely come at her expense
Helped her moved out cuz she would turn to me in times of need
Always used my car to get to work and that was fine with me
But overstepping
She would do that well continuously
Put my foot down cuz I was sick of all the childish beef
New methods
Cuz she see that she can't get to me
Found someone that brings me peace and loves me unconditionally
I even told her
I would love for you and her to meet
She moved the goalpost on me and decided to keep you from me
No more overnights
All cuz she see's I'm moving on
I couldn't get to her at all she won't admit that she was wrong
So f*ck it
Last resort
We gonna meet at court
And still ain't work and they just left my ass with child support
I tried it all I wouldn't let your mom preach otherwise
I stepped up to the plate and then some but to my surprise
A scorned woman gonna win against trying father
Rigged system got my hopes up don't know why I bother
If it you were up to me
We would've splitter evenly
Deep pains that just ate me she doing me so greazily
And still your mother smiling swear she did this shit so evily
Already in a hole and she just sunk me in so deeply see
No respect for my role should've seen how she just treated me
Slimy as they come I never thought she'd do this deviously I swear
I fought so hard to be more present
Your mom can't understand that I was this close to the ending
Contemplate my options cuz I never been this done before
Took six years of my life but I guess that she just wanted more
Like it's my fault she can't focus on herself to grow
Never stepping on her toes but of course she gonna make a show
It's her way or no way
And that'll show between ya
I fought to overcome this
I took a stance like southpaw
I wish that it were different
But she ain't understanding
I try to be so lenient
Be she so damn demanding
Just want you to understand it
This wasn't how we planned it
We took off with no direction
This simply where we landed
I'll do whatever I can
And no one will prevent that
Love you Jai forever
Sincerely
From your dad