Jonathan Markwood's Hoo-Hah Conspiracy - Marlana Maid of Plastic Lyrics

Saul was quiet he was the kind
Who's never wild, a librarian's mind
His dream was something he just hid
Tightly locked away with a Tupperware lid

So neatly filing books on his own
You'd never know it but when he gets home
He's drinking whisky strong cigarettes
Choosing out her lipstick and then getting her dressed

He loves her more and more each day that passes
He adores the way the lass just waits for him at home

Marlane
All dressed up in red elastic
Saul's perfect girlfriend looks fantastic
A perma smile repaired with Mastic
The best thing ever made from plastic
She's got a friend lives in the attic
For threesomes she's enthusiastic
His love life now has gone galactic
Her favourite food is eels in aspic
Drastic

A little later about half past ten
He takes her to a bar and then fake walks in
Says 'I saw you standing all on your own
You look so pretty can I take you home?'

His only wish is one day she'd just turn to him and
Say something at least she never ever wears a frown

He don't care what the others say
Love won't ever wear away
And his favourite safe words 'late fees due'

Sol can't be certain but he's thinking that he'd
Left her in the kitchen now she's nowhere to be found