Jonathan Markwood's Hoo-Hah Conspiracy - Jumping Off Balloons Lyrics

Neville Harpoon looked for reasons not to hate myself
Elaina gave him eighteen more
She said 'Since your star was removed from the Boulevard
The world sees you're a crashing bore
It wasn't that he was ok with that
It wasn't that Neville was ok with it
He said 'I'll get you back you stabbed me in the back
Right in front of my face is what you did'

Jumping off balloons
Oooooo!

Ms Markova tied up inside like a knotted neckercheif
Sized up by her boss
Pushed aside all his knotty little come on-ses
Said she couldn't give a toss
And then she said from somewhere in her head
She said something that she thought he'd want unsaid
'You're old and bald, you're short not tall
And your breath smells like old cabbages - so I'll go'

Jumping off balloons
Floating round the room

'Oh how splendid' she said as she ended his meal with a snail once more
As it crawled through his custard he said to her 'I just can't go on like this with you no more'

Hercules Smith a lovely elderly gentlemen was fated with a wife from hell
Told her 'I've met someone' and said he was going to
Have a blast with June from the next bungalow