Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store
It's not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine
Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there
So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl
Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there
Plywood, brushed steel
Meatballs, tasty
Allen wrenches
All of them for free
All of them for me
I'm sorry I said IKEA sucks
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you
I was a doubter just like you
'Til I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a god-damned Swedish parade
Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there