[ Featuring Samuel L. Jackson ]
Dialogue Written by Quentin Tarantino
JULES
-- okay so, tell me again about the hash bars?
VINCENT
Okay what d'you want to know?
JULES
Hash is legal there, right?
VINCENT
Yeah, it's legal, but is ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean you can't
Walk into a restaurant, roll a joint, and start puffin' away. I mean they
Want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places.
JULES
Those are hash bars?
VINCENT
Yeah, it breaks down like this, okay: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own
It and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's
Legal to carry it, but that doesn't matter 'cause -- get a load of this,
Alright, -- if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them
To search you. I mean that's a right that the cops in Amsterdam don't have.
JULES
Oh, man -- I'm goin', that's all there is to it. I'm f*ckin' goin'.
VINCENT
You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?
JULES
What?
VINCENT
It's the little differences. I mean they got the same shit over there, we got
Here, but it's just there's a little difference.
JULES
Examples?
VINCENT
Alright, well you can walk into a movie theatre in Amsterdam and buy a beer.
And I don't mean in a paper cup. I'm talkin' 'bout a glass of beer. And in
Paris, you can buy a beer at MacDonald's. You know what they call a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
JULES
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
VINCENT
No, man, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the f*ck
A Quarter Pounder is.
JULES
What'd they call it?
VINCENT
They call it Royale with Cheese.
JULES (repeating)
Royale with Cheese. What'd they call a Big Mac?
VINCENT
Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac.
JULES (repeating)
Le Big Mac. What do they call a Whopper?
VINCENT
I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King. You know what they put on french
Fries in Holland instead of ketchup?
JULES
What?
VINCENT
Mayonnaise.
JULES
Goddamn!
VINCENT
I seen 'em do it, man. They f*ckin' drown 'em in this shit.
JULES
Uuccch!