John Paciga - Big Hit Song Lyrics

If you want to write a big hit song
Well, there's a couple of things you'll need to know
It has to be, like, three-and-a-half minutes long
It can't be too fast, but not too slow
Make the lyrics vaguely specific
Love and sex are both terrific topics
In fact the most prolific artists would agree
Something uniquely ordinary
Don't try social commentary
If you want to be a luminary
Good hooks and looks are all you'll ever need
Before you know it
You'll have like 20 fans who love you
Long as you don't blow it
And that's how you write a big hit song
Really hard to get it wrong
Trust me, you'll know you're scoring
When it's overplayed and super boring
So clap your hands and sing along
Oh
Oh
If you want to be a big success
You're gonna need a catchy melody
No harmonic mess, four chords or less
The key is stark simplicity
Make it happy, make it funny
Pretend the sky is always sunny
And soon you'll be right on the money
And in the studio
It's a-okay to make it bland
As long as you define your brand
And strike up the prerecorded band
There simply is no better way to go
And if you're lucky
The majority of the population won't think you're sucky
And that's how you write a big hit song
Really hard to get it wrong
Trust me, you'll know you're scoring
When it's overplayed and super boring
So clap your hands and sing along
Oh
Oh
Hey, Mr. Record Label
My cards are on the table
Can't you give a lowly music man a start?
Do me just one favor, spell out
What it takes to be a sellout
And shell out trash that people think is art
It's a pretty pointless game to play
When no one listens anyway
Yeah, I'm still waiting for the day
When I figure it out
When I figure out
How to write a big hit song
Seems I always get it wrong
I can't sell if no one's buying
But in the meantime I'll keep trying
So clap your hands and sing along
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh