John D Howard - Dear Diary (Demo) Lyrics

Today the dreams got worse
Now they even come when I'm awake
I still haven't told anyone
I'm not sure what I'd say

Fear creeping, anger rising, how do I explain?
Found a song I thought explained it, but now it's changed again
I try to paint emotions, but my colours are all wrong
It all comes out in shades of blue, and the details would take far too long

As I walk down the street, I'm afraid that they all know
I hope they do so they can help, but it seems they don't
I need somewhere to think, and make my thoughts my own
I prefer quiet fields to streets these days, these days I walk alone

It's definitely not happiness, but sad is not the word
It feels more like anger and a vague tinge of hurt
Sometimes it boils and then recedes, sometimes bursts but goes nowhere
I'm at the point where I can't even snap, but the fire's still getting air

I ratchet up the pressure, by writing it all down
Dear diary can you help me, to let it all come out?
It's got so I can't imagine, feelings of release
Lift this lead weight off my shoulders, so that I can breathe

I ratchet up the pressure, by writing it all down
Dear diary can you help me, to let it all come out?
It's got so I can't imagine, feelings of release
Lift this lead weight off my shoulders, so that I can breathe