Summers Are Hard (feat. Hannah Bustamante) Video (MV)

Some things start off good then they get worse
Like my relationship with my Father this is his verse
I'm not talking biological donor
I'm talking about the man who was my hero, who took me in at birth
Know what he said? It was "love right when he saw me, and I felt it
He was my father and my homie we was best friends
Even taught me his rhymes
I love the Niners cause of him and I claim his jersey number as mine
So many never had a Dad that's why I'm thankful as hell
I actually still remember that little one pound dumbbell
I'll never forget the time at the McDonald's
He beat the snot out of a guy for cutting me in line at the baño
Loved him so much I'd do anything he said
But some things changed when he and my momma split
His love for me would always stick
And it hurt that because of their mess now I had to see him less
In my mind he was the best
That's why I was so excited at 14 when I finally got to stay with Him
I mean it sucked that life had to shift
Because my mom had to give over custody of me, Kory and Kim
Cause she decided to move to a whole other state unprepared
And when she moved I didn't even know, I was still at summer Camp
One of the many reasons that he hated my mother
And because of that hatred he made us kids the buffer
All the crap we went through when I was in high school came to a head in the worst way
A day before I would graduate, and right on my birthday
June 26th, I told my dad I'd be remiss if I didn't let my mom be there for me
I said she gets a ticket she has to be at the ceremony
And he got pissed, flipped a wig, he was livid
He interpreted that as if I said it was my mom I wanted to live with
And honestly I just wanted her there
The next thing I'd hear would forever mess my heart up
He packed my bag, kicked me out, and told me, "go find your real Father"
He didn't make it to High school graduation for starters
Missed college graduation and if that wasn't a bother
He even missed my wedding and I didn't even get a call
I forgive him for this all but there are still scars
We not on the best terms for me even mentioning it, that's why summers are hard

I wish we didn't have to fight and we saw eye to eye, yea Summer's are Hard
To me it's less bout being wrong, I just want a healthy bond that's why summers are hard
I'll always love you that won't stop and you're grandpa no matter where we are
I'm just praying to God for your comfort as long as I'm feeling under when summer's are hard
Yes as long as Summer's are hard

Sometimes things start rough and they get better
Kinda like with my mom if you ever met her
You'd think she was the female version of me
I always loved her but she wasn't exactly like who I wanted to be
Don't get me wrong, just like my Father she did the best she could
But the best she could at times I barely understood
She had me thinking parenting was just making sure we was fed and clothed
Making sure we behave in school and kept a clean home
Make sure the holidays were always stacked with presents
But to be honest I never knew if she liked my presence
There was always yelling, I couldn't ask no questions
We were always protected but emotions were neglected
I always did feel like the side story in a sitcom
I usually had two choices, get scolded or sit calm
But also I had to always adjust to different men in the house
Some were ok, but they weren't Dad, I'd prefer they be out
One of these dudes influences her to move down south
Orlando wasn't a problem with me, I just wish I'd known we were moving out
It was mentioned in verse 1, but that was probably the worst one
Living with Dad made us grow more distant, but it would shift when He kicked me out
She took me back no resistance, no conditions
Just a mother with love for her son
It means so much that from that point on she was there
Made me realize how ungrateful I was all these years
And a few years later In recovery i asked forgiveness for my wrongs
All the resentment and rage I held close was our charm to stay connected but it was killing me
I was done
In that hospital bed, when neither of us knew what was going on
I felt like we crossed a bridge and I finally got back my mom
I know you and Dad had your differences and personal qualms
I know you both did the best you could in the midst of the drama
But even when things get better trauma still leaves scars
Things are still a little tender so for now, so summers are hard

I know things are gonna change and I won't always feel this pain but summers are hard
Help to grieve my unbelief and all the pain I received from all these scars
I'm so grateful that you're gracious and always here with me while summers are hard
God you've always with me no matter my belief about who you are
And that's why you're the good God
You'll always be, The good God
You're my Good God