Jesus In A Sidecar - The Spork Song Lyrics

(J. Roberts)

What's better than pork? (Shout) Spork! Spork!
What's better than Zork? (Shout) Spork! Spork!
What's better than spam and better than jam?

Spork, Spork, Spork!!!!

Spork is a spoon, with part of a fork.
But it's neither a spoon, not even a fork.
It's a spork! It's a spork! It's a spork!

What's the utensil with which you can't eat?
What's not very good for cutting red meat?
What's got personality that can't be beat?

Spork, Spork, Spork!!!!

It replaces your spoon and your fork.
But it's useless as a spoon, and as a fork.
It's a spork! It's a spork! It's a spork!

What's better than Tork? (Shout) Spork! Spork!
What's better than Mork? (Shout) Spork! Spork!
What's better than ham and better than glam?

Spork, Spork, Spork!!!!

Looks like a spoon, with prongs of a fork.
Eating with it makes you look like a dork.
It's a spork! It's a spork! It's a spork!

SONG@: Human Fish Nuggets

(J. Roberts)

they've got em in a six pack
they've got em in a twenty
when you take 'er out to dinner
you can eat 'em with your honey

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
kick ass

i saw em in D.C.
at a chinese takeout place
wasnt there to be a cannibal
i was there to stuff my face

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
oh yeah

they had em there in Leutner
straight from the greasy fryin pan
i didnt want no nuggets
grilled cheese sandwich was my plan

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
alright

(oooh human fish nuggets....rock on!)

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
far out

a wet willy war was waged
before getting on the plane
but when the plane was landin
i was in some major pain

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
from space

at the united nations
we sent PEZ up to the chair
and when anyone said dilatory
we screamed and waved our hands in the air

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
on ice

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
are nice

human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
human fish nuggets
sung thrice

SONG@: Sold My Soul

(J. Roberts)

i sold my soul to bmg
and now they're coming after me
i bought too many cd's
i sold my soul to bmg

SONG@ Orange Beef

(J. Roberts)

orange beef
coral reef
it's cow cranium
in a spicy brown sauce
take some home in a cardboard box
feed it to your goldfish
people in stone houses
shouldn't throw glass
azadeh has a huge ass

stolen chain
there was no rain
i went down to the physics lab
argued with the professor
i didnt want to realize
that he wasnt right
now the stapler has come and gone
scatter my papers out on the lawn

leeches suck
wooden duck
everyone gets down
at the wu tang wedding banquet
you can get your hair cut
while you eat lo mein
watch out for orange brain

SONG@: Mr Klaw

(J. Roberts/A. Tillotson)

mr klaw
he whine's all the time
mr klaw
he's real short
mr klaw
he doesnt get chicks
mr klaw
he says he's nice
mr klaw
he's from arkansas

why wont he just leave us alone
he should go home and chew on a bone

mr klaw
quit yur whining
mr klaw
you suck like a leech
mr klaw
thinks hes a druid
mr klaw
i dont wanna be yur apprentice
mr klaw
is coming so hide yur children
mr klaw
will marry the not so old
mr klaw
will make yur life look good
mr klaw
is really bad
just be glad he isnt yur dad
mr klaw
whine whine whine
mr klaw
all the time

why did you come into our channel
why dont you stick yur head in a camel

mr klaw
ack, he's back
mr klaw
is on the attack
mr klaw
looks dont matter
mr klaw
wants out of his town
mr klaw
has bones that will shatter
mr klaw
is going to drown
mr klaw
we dont like you
mr klaw
get off of my screen
mr klaw
is really annoying
mr klaw
might be on crack
mr klaw
go away
mr klaw
dont come back
mr klaw
we want to kill you
mr klaw is a cack