Jamie Ruddick - The Way That It Was Lyrics

Holding on to me it means something
I lost myself trying to fit into your loving
It's a pretty kind of feeling coming back and feeling something
I was getting pretty tired always feeling like I'm running
If my heartbeat stops
I could sleep a little while
I was getting pretty nauseous always feeling like a child
It's a shitty kind of feeling looking back and feeling nothing
It's a shitty kind of feeling
Cause it's not the
Way that it was
I've been so scared
Of f*cking this up
It's not last time
I'd know if it was
Because last time
It hurt me so much
It's the big fear
Of being alone
It's the past that
I know I've outgrown
It's the people
That I'm leaving behind
Because last time
Even I wasn't mine
Feeling like I lost a piece of something
I've been trying hard to find it
Trying harder not to mind it
Cause you can't get back
What you left behind
And I left behind
A part of me resigned
And I worked so hard
Just to break my heart
I worked so hard
Just to fall apart
I worked so hard
Trying to tell myself
That I'd rather be broken and bleeding
Than with anyone else
Cause it's not the
Way that it was
I've been so scared
Of f*cking this up
It's not last time
I'd know if it was
Because last time
It hurt me so much
It's the big fear
Of being alone
It's the past that
I know I've outgrown
It's the people
That I'm leaving behind
Because last time
Even I wasn't mine
There will be a day when
It all goes away and
You won't feel the same way that you used to
There will be a day when
It all goes away and
You won't feel the same way that you used to
Cause it's not the
Way that it was
I've been so scared
Of f*cking this up
It's not last time
I'd know if it was
Because last time
It hurt me so much
It's the big fear
Of being alone
It's the past that
I know I've outgrown
It's the people
That I'm leaving behind
Because last time
Even I wasn't mine
Even I'm doing fine
Even I'm doing right
It's been a pretty long time
There've been some pretty long nights
There's been a couple of crashes
It feels like a disaster
Til you get to the end
And find out what's coming after
And the way that it was
Is not the way it'll be
Because the end of the book
Is only written by me
So I will open my heart
To everything that I see
Because the end of the book
Is only written by me