Jakeypoo - Another New Year Lyrics

This season I'll reflect on
All of these things that I've done wrong
I'll glaze over my past mistakes
Flooded with regret of all the times that I've fallen short

Of integrating my truest understandings
If I could just forget all the bad memories
In hopes of moving on
I pray I'll move on

To another new year
With instant gratification for every idea
Of how I could be so much better
This only moment where I'll exist as myself

In the future
And keep the past in the past
Yet somehow I find myself retract
To the darkest of places again

And this I just can't help but recede into
I always recede into

What a way to damage myself
And everything that I love
The gift I give to you is this self-pity
For all I fail to live up to

So I'll wait to start again
'Cause I hate to accept that again I'll find myself on the edge
It's something I don't think you'd understand
But I'll continue to try my best

A loathing for not being enough
Isn't that what you want?
I may have feigned ignorance but those parts I won't tell
Yeah, I'm no tattletale
Even when it comes to myself

I'll behave well
But if He saw into this soul then He would know
And they would call me the boy richest in coal

Oh how chilling things can become when these parts fester from awareness and grow lonesome?
To the point where it'll feed on you and be reckless just
From boredom

Is this what it's all about?
Finding everything in me to hate
And giving you my greatest false efforts when I never would otherwise

'Cause I fail to see purpose outside of this
So why should I here?
There's no significance
Only hollow consoling lack thereof for believing in being open and understanding

I can't wait to get home
And away from
All of them
'Cause I can only face this all for so long

Before my head explodes and my words crush their little worlds
A million times I'd explain how things could be better and they just won't budge

How much room there is to judge
When all that's known Is wished to be heard and shown to us
Sometimes we have to look at who
Points the finger and see that we continue to influence the world
By all we succumb to In weakness and fear
And not by what we collectively could have or want