Had to See Video (MV)

I wonder when it's gonna end, I ain't running to a friend when it gets tough
Really need to hic up, lump inside my throat it won't go down I'm breathing through a different pathway
Life passing me by I'm looking at all of my class mates
Out there all just living glowing children growing losing grip I try to tune in listen focus
But I got these monsters yelling inside my ear like it's a well that their friend fell down
Every cell is feeling like a jail cell
I'm tryna reach my skinny wrists between the bars of them
And tell myself I'm lucky to be this place that the stars are in
But sometimes it feels like I am so far from them it's taunting me
I wanna taste I wanna touch but gravity is on to me each time that I come up with a new plan or a strategy
Wonder how I got here sometimes when I am imagining
I see myself inside a different form of life looking at this place and dove into its colors like I had to see
I don't wanna loop no more
I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna have to poop no more
This shits weird
Eating food
Breathing air
Defeating moods
People claim to love you but that's not fair
Cuz they don't know what love is
I know what love is
I brought my heart inside of the wrong space and time
What is this love stuff and these sensations
I can't see nobody they're in faces
All I can sees my own reflection it deceives me into seeing a connection
Always leads me to another bridge I'm forced to go up in flames with
The water down beneath is parasitic
Go to the doctor he says they're a figment
All of my family has been scared religious
It's been 3 years since I been there for Christmas
And I won't be there for this one or the next one all what my nightmares equipped with
Has got me feeling I'mma never wake up
The more I grow the smaller that I feel forever stay shut
Cuz all my openings are soldered sealed with memories
What will happen when I slip where will I go who will I be
And what will I do then what will I know will I remember me?
I don't wanna loop no more
I don't wanna wake up I don't wanna have to poop no more
This shits weird
Eating food
Breathing air
Defeating moods
People claim to love you but that's not fair
Cuz they don't know what love is
I know what love is
I brought my heart inside of the wrong space and time